Ok, so where I left off...begging the doctor to induce me. I mean..I didn't beg - but I was fully prepared to. If you missed part I, you can read it here.
After finding out Tuesday morning that I would be induced on Thursday but would need to arrive Wednesday night for cervical ripening (I was 2cm dilated but only about 50% effaced) anxiety was building. Leaving the doctors office was a bit of a blur...they handed me a slip with some directions for when to arrive and what was involved with an induction....and explained that Cytotec would be used for my cervical ripening...not Cervidil and then they would break my water in the morning and Pitocin would follow. Normally, I would have researched the living you know what out of this...but I hadn't....I was totally unprepared. I just figured they would bring me in Thursday morning and break my water and give me some pitocin and we would have a baby by dinner...cervical ripening was not something I thought they would need to do. So, I had about 36 hours to figure out what Cytotec was and if I was ok with it...dr. google to the rescue...or not. HORROR STORIES....seriously, y'all....bad stuff on the internet about Cytotec. Words like uterine rupture, hemorrhaging, placental abruption...even death...just horrible awful things. I was terrified...but I read and read and read...determined to get to the bottom of what the truth was. I don't know if I got there...but I got comfortable enough not to call off the induction...which I was fully prepared to do. I'm no doctor...but if you're wondering how I got comfortable...here it is: almost all of the horror stories I read involved doses of 50-100+mcg being given to women to induce labor. My doctor would only be administering a 25mcg dose..with full monitoring...and from what I could find - this seemed to do a nice job of preparing women for labor to begin.
Fast forward to Wednesday morning...I was feeling a ton of anxiety...as evidenced by my inability to think about anything other than cleaning out my bathroom closet and refrigerator (literally the only 2 places I hadn't deep cleaned in the past 2 months thanks to my nesting instinct)...so I went to work and asked my boss if I could take a half day off to go home and get those things done before going to the hospital...call me crazy - its ok - i'm fully aware! He obliged...I got all of my "out of office" stuff set and said my good-byes and walked out feeling a little weird knowing I was "going to have a baby." I got my cleaning done...got Addie all packed to stay with my parents and anxiously awaited "go-time."
We dropped Addie at my parents...and that's when the anxiety and fear really started to take over...child birth is no walk in the park and I know there are risks. I was scared...scared if something happened Addie would suffer. I put it all to the back of my mind...kissed her and told her I loved her no less than a 1,000 times and told my parents we'd be in touch in the morning with news on how things were progressing...but not to worry, nothing would be happening tonight...it was just to get me ready for the morning.
We arrived at the hospital a little before our scheduled time and lugged our stuff up to labor and delivery. It was so surreal to go into the hospital knowing we wouldn't be sent home...we were simply arriving for our "its time to have your baby" time slot. We checked in and got sent down the hall to meet our l&d nurse and get settled in our room. I spied my doc as we were walking to meet our nurse and we waved....and a sense of calmness washed over me. Nurse Betsey was our l&d nurse and she showed us to our room...handed me a gown and asked me to get changed. Still a little nervous about the Cytotec induction...I figured Betsey would know best so I asked her her opinion. She said she'd seen it done a million times and actually had a Cytotec induction with one of her children and had no issues. This settled my nerves even more. She hooked me up to all of the monitors as asked if I had been having any contractions. Well...I had been feeling awfully crampy all afternoon and had felt some more substantial cramps in the car but chalked it up to being on my feet all afternoon frantically cleaning up those last minute things and not contractions. Contractions they were....4 minutes apart to be exact. YES!!! Maybe this meant we wouldn't need the induction after all and I could just labor on my own. Womp...womp...womp...after a cervical check...there was no change from my last doctor's appointment so she checked with my doc and he decided he still wanted to proceed with the cytotec. The nurse warned that the cytotec might increase the intensity and frequency of the contractions...but no dice...I felt no change. And after about 15 minutes of being on one side I really wanted out of the bed. I was so uncomfortable...but I knew I had to stay put for 2 hours for the Cytotec to do what it needed to do. The nurse came in an offered up some Ambien to help me get some sleep...I politely declined...but as soon as the 2 hours was up I was eager to get out of bed. She let me but only to go to the bathroom....insert a really angry face here. "Only to go to the bathroom"??? You mean...I can't walk around and take the pressure off my hips (since laying flat on my back was out)...oh dear god, I'll never make it. I figured my best bet was to just try and get some sleep...it was almost 1am and while the anxiety and excitement of Kate's arrival and painful pressure on my hips was making it hard to sleep...I figured I'd better try. We turned the TV off and the lights down and settled in...until about 5 minutes later when I felt a pop and then a trickle....
**I understand that inductions are controversial...as is the use of Cytotec. I am simply documenting my story for my own memories and firmly believe that every woman needs to make her own decisions based on what she believes to be best for her. I am not a doctor or a medical professional and what I have documented above is not meant to encourage or discourage anyone to make the decisions I have**